Anatomy of Frustration: Lack of Control
Lack of control over people, things, events and circumstances just to name a few is known to be one of the root causes of frustration today in personal and professional lives. Charles Popplestown stated, “You can not always control circumstances, but you can control your own thoughts.” This problem is quite common but not obvious. First and foremost you need to recognize that you have no control over things around you, control of other people’s lives or make anyone do anything for that matter.
Kelsey Grammer remarked, “The mark of a man is one who knows he can't control his circumstances - but he can control his responses.” A lot of people really get frustrated because they cannot control the situation to their own advantage. In view of the fact that there is a lack of control a feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness takes over, producing anger, stress or resentment. These individuals do not realize that there are events, situations or circumstances in life that we cannot control just for the simple fact that we are humans.
Jim Rohn is often quoted as saying “It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind that determines which way we will go.” To be frustrated at the direction of the wind, which is beyond your control, is unproductive. It is imperative therefore, to understand that one may not be able to control certain situations or events because they do not depend on us directly or indirectly. You need to learn how to let go some of the things you are struggling with trying so hard to gain control over because when that happens that is when you gain.
Kelsey Grammer remarked, “The mark of a man is one who knows he can't control his circumstances - but he can control his responses.” A lot of people really get frustrated because they cannot control the situation to their own advantage. In view of the fact that there is a lack of control a feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness takes over, producing anger, stress or resentment. These individuals do not realize that there are events, situations or circumstances in life that we cannot control just for the simple fact that we are humans.
Jim Rohn is often quoted as saying “It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind that determines which way we will go.” To be frustrated at the direction of the wind, which is beyond your control, is unproductive. It is imperative therefore, to understand that one may not be able to control certain situations or events because they do not depend on us directly or indirectly. You need to learn how to let go some of the things you are struggling with trying so hard to gain control over because when that happens that is when you gain.
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Quote Meal
"There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose."
Kin Hubbard
Kin Hubbard
What is rssHugger and What is the buzz about?
rssHugger is a new website developed to help bloggers promote their blogs, and to help visitors discover new blogs that write about subjects that the readers are interested in. It’s a fact that most bloggers are always seeking new ways to promote their blogs and gain higher visibility while on the other hand visitors are looking to discover blogs that are relevant to them without having to surf the net for hours and this is what rssHugger is designed to accomplish and this is what the buzz is all about.
Collin LaHay, is the man behind rssHugger and he is an experienced entrepreneur, search engine optimizer, and internet marketer. The following are the benefits for joing rssHugger,
For bloggers:
# Raise awareness of your blog
# Send tons of visitors to your blog
# Share traffic with the community
# Be part of a viral/buzz marketing campaign
# Build deep-links for your blog posts to help with search engine optimization
# Get new interested RSS subscribers who view your content on a regular basis.
For the visitors:
# Find blogs that interest you
# Easily subscribe to many blogs
# Skim over hundreds of blogs to find what suits you
This is worth checking out.
Collin LaHay, is the man behind rssHugger and he is an experienced entrepreneur, search engine optimizer, and internet marketer. The following are the benefits for joing rssHugger,
For bloggers:
# Raise awareness of your blog
# Send tons of visitors to your blog
# Share traffic with the community
# Be part of a viral/buzz marketing campaign
# Build deep-links for your blog posts to help with search engine optimization
# Get new interested RSS subscribers who view your content on a regular basis.
For the visitors:
# Find blogs that interest you
# Easily subscribe to many blogs
# Skim over hundreds of blogs to find what suits you
This is worth checking out.
Anatomy of Frustrarion: Failure Factor
The Law of Human Behavior states, “Sooner or later we will get what we expect.” This law is explicit enough, it suffice to mean that whatever you expect is going to be your reality. For example, if you expect to fail, sooner or later you will fail. Every situation is an education. No one enjoys failing in any endeavor, however, it’s inevitable. Mr. Jobson enrolled to take his driver’s permit test which he performed poorly and this was neither his first nor was it is second test and as a result he is frustrated and disappointed.
The failure to achieve ones desires or expectation can result to frustration and it can affect you in a very remarkable way. However, failure is not reserved for the less privileged or mentally retarded but to all of us. I have since discovered that failure is one of the breakfasts of champions. Individuals who have never failed are individuals who haven’t done anything. It is imperative to understand that failure is not a destination but an event that occurred in pursuit of your goals and objectives. Here is how Rogier Von Oech puts it; Remember, there are two benefits of failure, First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn’t work; and second, the failure gives you an opportunity to try a new approach…. Most people think of success and failure as opposite, but they are actually both products of the same process.
If you like this post then please consider subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.
The failure to achieve ones desires or expectation can result to frustration and it can affect you in a very remarkable way. However, failure is not reserved for the less privileged or mentally retarded but to all of us. I have since discovered that failure is one of the breakfasts of champions. Individuals who have never failed are individuals who haven’t done anything. It is imperative to understand that failure is not a destination but an event that occurred in pursuit of your goals and objectives. Here is how Rogier Von Oech puts it; Remember, there are two benefits of failure, First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn’t work; and second, the failure gives you an opportunity to try a new approach…. Most people think of success and failure as opposite, but they are actually both products of the same process.
If you like this post then please consider subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.
Anatomy of Frustration: Lack of direction
Henry David Thoreau said, “If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” According to Jim Rohn, “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” You must have a clear road map in your head at every step of your task or assignment and where you are in the process. Lack of direction will lead to uncompleted or haphazardly completed tasks.
The dilemma is that without direction you will not know when you have arrived at your desired objectives and you will not be able to repeat the same process if you have to. The lack of direction and definition for “your” goals and objectives will certainly lead to frustration in the final analysis when meaningful results are not archieved. At home with your loved ones or at work with your colleagues you must define your objectives, what you intend to achieve in the relationship and how you intend to achieve it. Without these procedures there will be misunderstandings, indifference and ultimately frustration. Use these techniques before and after you embark on your task, as this will help you leverage all the resources at your disposal when frustrating circumstances occurs.
If you like this post then please consider subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.
The dilemma is that without direction you will not know when you have arrived at your desired objectives and you will not be able to repeat the same process if you have to. The lack of direction and definition for “your” goals and objectives will certainly lead to frustration in the final analysis when meaningful results are not archieved. At home with your loved ones or at work with your colleagues you must define your objectives, what you intend to achieve in the relationship and how you intend to achieve it. Without these procedures there will be misunderstandings, indifference and ultimately frustration. Use these techniques before and after you embark on your task, as this will help you leverage all the resources at your disposal when frustrating circumstances occurs.
If you like this post then please consider subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox.
April 2008 Bloghology Launched
Finally my friend Mert Erkal, has launched the long awaited April 2008 Bloghology edition. You can download it by clicking on this link. There are interesting insights and nuggets on topics such as personal development, how to transform frustration into opportunities and unlock the power to succeed, how to track your keywords with hit tail and many more...
Richard Onebamoi interviewed by Mert Enkal
Anatomy of Frustration with Richard Onebamoi
Peopleized by: merkal2005 - Monday, 28 April 2008
merkal2005: Hi Richard, please tell us about yourself and your mission
Successfacilitator: Hello Mert, first and foremost let me take this opportunity to thank you very much for the interview.
Well, my name is Richard Onebamoi, I am a Pastor, International Speaker and Success facilitator. I'm also the President and Executive Facilitator of Success Empowerment Network. I am married to Catherine who co-pastor with me and she is the Associate Executive Facilitator of Success Empowerment Network. We are bless with four children and I reside in Brussels, Belgium in the heart of the European Union with my family.
My mission is to inspire your performance, expand your imagination, cultivate your dreams and to help you discover, develop, deploy and maximize your God-given potential.
merkal2005: When did you start blogging?
Successfacilitator: Good question. I believe my first blogging experience began in 2006 and actively towards the end of 2007.
merkal2005: In your blog you say one can easily transform frustration into opportunities. Please give us some tips.
Successfacilitator: To start with let us define frustration. Dictionary.com defines frustration has: A feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.
Now, you must understand that frustration in life is inevitable, but can also be useful depending on how we respond to it. We can transform frustration into opportunities and unlock the power to succeed in any endeavor if we respond appropriately. The following are some tips on how to easily do that:
Quiet Time: Develop a habit of having quiet times. These are moments that you could step aside from all your activities as you begin to feel overwhelmed or frustrated.
Identify Root Cause(s) of Frustration: The law of cause and effect states that: “Everything happens for a reason.” For every effect in your life, there is a cause. Crises do not just erupt without causes. The perspective changes when you consider frustration as an effect with a cause or series of causes.
Valuable Learning Tool: You have to see the situation as a learning experience. With a positive attitude, belief in yourselves and faith in God, you will find yourself in a better situation and frame of mind. Instead of complaining and making yourself and everybody around you miserable ask a question like “how can I use this frustration to be a valuable learning tool”. Looking closely, there are always valuable lessons to be learned that will better prepare you down the road when other situation like it arises.
Eliminate The Obvious: What I mean by the obvious is anything or persons that serves as a positive catalyst for the attainment of your objectives. This is a strategy that I have used in helping individuals that are frustrated and do not know how to begin dealing with the challenges that affronts them. I begin by asking them to eliminate what is obvious to them in the whole scenario which serves them positively and when they have come through that exercise I then ask them now to put the other things that seems to serve their purpose or goals negatively into proper perspective and deal with them accordingly.
Change your expectations: Dr. John Maxwell stated that “We all deal with the impact of expectations in three dimensions; Expectations we have for ourselves, Expectations we have of others and Expectations others have of us.” Oftentimes these dimensions of expectation can be very frustrating if they are not realistic and crystal clear. In order to turn frustration into opportunities you have to clarify expectations in every dimension, and frequently revisit them to make adjustments or to realign your expectations to be congruent with your inner and external dynamics.
With these few tips you are on your way to transforming frustration and unlocking the power to succeed.
merkal2005: Does blogging give a second chance to frustrated people?
Successfacilitator: Oh yes it does. All you need to do is pull yourself together and connect with the right associations.
merkal2005: How do you see the future of blogging?
Successfacilitator: The future of blogging can't be expressed in my opinion in human vernacular. I must say however, that the future of blogging is very very promising to say the least.
merkal2005: What are your suggestions to new bloggers?
Successfacilitator: I know that at first time it could be very very overwhelming, with the information and the learning curves that you will have to go through and you will be frustrated very often but.... Simply Just Take It One Step At A Time.
Peopleized by: merkal2005 - Monday, 28 April 2008
 | Read Anatomy of Frustration with Richard Onebamoi and get inspired! |
merkal2005: Hi Richard, please tell us about yourself and your mission
Successfacilitator: Hello Mert, first and foremost let me take this opportunity to thank you very much for the interview.
Well, my name is Richard Onebamoi, I am a Pastor, International Speaker and Success facilitator. I'm also the President and Executive Facilitator of Success Empowerment Network. I am married to Catherine who co-pastor with me and she is the Associate Executive Facilitator of Success Empowerment Network. We are bless with four children and I reside in Brussels, Belgium in the heart of the European Union with my family.
My mission is to inspire your performance, expand your imagination, cultivate your dreams and to help you discover, develop, deploy and maximize your God-given potential.
merkal2005: When did you start blogging?
Successfacilitator: Good question. I believe my first blogging experience began in 2006 and actively towards the end of 2007.
merkal2005: In your blog you say one can easily transform frustration into opportunities. Please give us some tips.
Successfacilitator: To start with let us define frustration. Dictionary.com defines frustration has: A feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.
Now, you must understand that frustration in life is inevitable, but can also be useful depending on how we respond to it. We can transform frustration into opportunities and unlock the power to succeed in any endeavor if we respond appropriately. The following are some tips on how to easily do that:
Quiet Time: Develop a habit of having quiet times. These are moments that you could step aside from all your activities as you begin to feel overwhelmed or frustrated.
Identify Root Cause(s) of Frustration: The law of cause and effect states that: “Everything happens for a reason.” For every effect in your life, there is a cause. Crises do not just erupt without causes. The perspective changes when you consider frustration as an effect with a cause or series of causes.
Valuable Learning Tool: You have to see the situation as a learning experience. With a positive attitude, belief in yourselves and faith in God, you will find yourself in a better situation and frame of mind. Instead of complaining and making yourself and everybody around you miserable ask a question like “how can I use this frustration to be a valuable learning tool”. Looking closely, there are always valuable lessons to be learned that will better prepare you down the road when other situation like it arises.
Eliminate The Obvious: What I mean by the obvious is anything or persons that serves as a positive catalyst for the attainment of your objectives. This is a strategy that I have used in helping individuals that are frustrated and do not know how to begin dealing with the challenges that affronts them. I begin by asking them to eliminate what is obvious to them in the whole scenario which serves them positively and when they have come through that exercise I then ask them now to put the other things that seems to serve their purpose or goals negatively into proper perspective and deal with them accordingly.
Change your expectations: Dr. John Maxwell stated that “We all deal with the impact of expectations in three dimensions; Expectations we have for ourselves, Expectations we have of others and Expectations others have of us.” Oftentimes these dimensions of expectation can be very frustrating if they are not realistic and crystal clear. In order to turn frustration into opportunities you have to clarify expectations in every dimension, and frequently revisit them to make adjustments or to realign your expectations to be congruent with your inner and external dynamics.
With these few tips you are on your way to transforming frustration and unlocking the power to succeed.
merkal2005: Does blogging give a second chance to frustrated people?
Successfacilitator: Oh yes it does. All you need to do is pull yourself together and connect with the right associations.
merkal2005: How do you see the future of blogging?
Successfacilitator: The future of blogging can't be expressed in my opinion in human vernacular. I must say however, that the future of blogging is very very promising to say the least.
merkal2005: What are your suggestions to new bloggers?
Successfacilitator: I know that at first time it could be very very overwhelming, with the information and the learning curves that you will have to go through and you will be frustrated very often but.... Simply Just Take It One Step At A Time.
| Successfacilitator's Page: www.anatomy-of-frustration.blogspot.com | Authors Page: merkal2005 |
Interviewed By Mert Erkal
I thought I should inform you that I had the privileged to be interviewed by Mert Erkal earlier on today on peopleized. Mert is the founder and creator of www.searchforblogging.com and bloghology, a very dynamic and intelligent blogger with a lot to offer to the blogosphere. You can download bloghology right from the bloghology button on the left of my page. I will be posting the interview later on today. Enjoy.
Anatomy of Frustration: Unfulfilled Expectations:
Unfulfilled expectations are often the root cause(s) of numerous frustrations either in your personal or professional life. Most people that I know have one or more personal or professional expectations at any given time from their goals, projects, people, spouse or relationships and when these expectations are unmet or unfulfilled, frustrations, anger, disappointments and rage are often the unwanted results and these of course fuels the frustration. For instance, when you have set family, business or career goals or targets for yourself to be achieved within a time frame and you are unable not to achieve these goals and or not been able to meet the dead line, this often result to untold frustration, anger and disappointments to say the least.
You have expectations from your spouse, your boss, and colleagues at work, your friends and acquaintances. Now when these expectations are unmet and frustration arises which most likely will, what you must do is to step back and re-evaluate your expectations and make adjustment where necessary. Solicit for feedbacks so as to ascertain what is and isn’t working. Focus on your expectations and not on the frustration and disappointments. Sometimes you will have to communicate your expectations to those that are part of making it come to fruition. It is said that you cannot keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You may have to change your procedures or action plan that will produce the anticipated expectation. My final thought is very crucial you have to stay the course, do not allow frustration deny you of your birthright, don’t give up, don’t give in.
You have expectations from your spouse, your boss, and colleagues at work, your friends and acquaintances. Now when these expectations are unmet and frustration arises which most likely will, what you must do is to step back and re-evaluate your expectations and make adjustment where necessary. Solicit for feedbacks so as to ascertain what is and isn’t working. Focus on your expectations and not on the frustration and disappointments. Sometimes you will have to communicate your expectations to those that are part of making it come to fruition. It is said that you cannot keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You may have to change your procedures or action plan that will produce the anticipated expectation. My final thought is very crucial you have to stay the course, do not allow frustration deny you of your birthright, don’t give up, don’t give in.
Quote Meal
The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at time of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Martin Luther King Jr.
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